A friend recommended Sphinx's Princess by Esther Friesner, which is about Nefertiti before she became queen. I was somewhat afraid it might be a tiny bit confusing, since I know basically nothing about ancient Egypt (the friend who recommended it happens to have a Master's in Egyptology), but I needn't have worried: It sucks you in right away, and just gets better and better and better. Frankly, I don't understand how it took me more than a freaking week to read the whole thing! Anyway, I've requested the sequel, Sphinx's Queen, from the library, and am more than a tiny bit impatient for it to arrive.
So, yeah, it feels good to read historical fiction for the first time in who knows how long.

Mostly out of boredom, I started watching Raising Hope a few nights ago.
I'm now on the ninth episode of season three.
Yes, it is that funny.
Also, Burt & Virginia are one of the most perfectly perfect couples in the history of television. Seriously, they are right up there with Ben Wyatt & Leslie Knope. No, I am not exaggerating.

I'm still annoyed that #SELFIE (which has a new episode tonight!) might be canceled. Hmpf.

Korra continues to blow my mind week after week in its fourth and final season.
[MAJOR Spoiler Character from the original series] is back, and she is exactly the same, just older. So that would make me ridiculously happy even if I was annoyed by every other thing going on. Which I'm not. Heh.

Um, why the heck haven't I seen Rainbow Rocks yet?!

I do intend to eventually see Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day . . . but also, I have more than a few mixed feelings about the fact that it's been turned into a movie at all.

I'm already planning to see Big Hero 6 as soon as I possibly can.

WHEN are we going to get an "official" trailer for Age of Ultron?
Edit: We're going to get an "official" trailer for Age of Ultron during next week's Agents of SHIELD! Which I don't watch, but still.

After months & months & months & a few more months of being unable to think about anything else every damn time I meditated, I disowned my mom on my birthday.
Judge if you want, but I haven't felt this ~good~ since before she married a verbally abusive jerkface when I was nine.

Cara & I are planning for her to come back, and STAY HERE, in (we hope) January.

6 Reasons #SELFIE is My New Favorite Show (And You Need To Watch It)
Please note that the hashtag is not actually "officially" part of the show's title. But I think it should be.Collapse )

screen shot 2014-05-13 at 5.14.49 pm.png



"Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle: It's a feeling inside that can hardly be contained."

(Some Of) My Favorite Fictional Siblings
1. Katara & Sokka
Oh my fucking guts, these two. I can't even find the words to gush about them, you know?

2. Elphaba & Nessarose
The Wicked Witch of the West is the reason I fell in love with fictional witches when I was three years old, because I could identify with her desire to seek vengeance because the bitch stole her shoes and that was just rude, wasn't it, GLINDA?
So yeah, I really love the "Wicked" version of their relationship. Even though Because it's tragic.

3. The Weasley Gingers
If I need to spend even one single second explaining this one, you're a fucking idiot, seriously.

4. Buffy & Dawn
"Dawn, listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will *always* love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world... is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."

5. Jake & Tom
Jake, the only Animorph who was not personally selected by the Ellimist, takes up their fight against the Yeerks specifically to save his older brother.
He ultimately fails. Tom becomes a high-ranking officer in the Yeerk army, and ultimately dies in a mission that also kills one of the Animorphs, For Real This Time.
All I'm saying is, despite the fact that it was about a bunch of kids turning into animals to fight mind-controlling alien parasite slugs who are secretly taking over Earth, this series had some really deep shit to say about how much war sucks for everyone.

6. Betty & Hilda
"Oh, honey. You gotta stop. Somehow, you've got it in your head that this is your story. But you gotta let that go. It's time to come up with a whole new story for yourself. You are who you are. And the sooner that you're okay with that, the sooner that you see what I see, the happier you're gonna be. I swear to God."

7. Applejack, Fluttershy, PINKIE PIE, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle

They count as siblings because, as we all learned from The Greatest TV Show of All Time, "Family are people who treat you like family, period," and nothing quite says "chosen family" quite as well as using the Magic of Friendship to literally save the world from evil because you represent the Elements of Harmony, you know?

There's one (horrifying) thing I've been meditating on approximately every single fuckin' time I've gotten high since April, and I'm about to Let It Go. I've timed it so that my sister will be here when it happens, which, in retrospect, was a really good idea, because I'm going to need her to hold my hand.

Depression sucks.

Such Fun




Stuff & More Stuff
+ My birthday (just like Professor McGonagall's) is October 4th. I'm giving myself the best present ever: Cara will be visiting from Wednesday, October 1st until Wednesday, October 8th! Yes, that's right, an entire week!
Also, I emailed my manager to request that week off a few days ago, and she got back to me the next day to say that it shouldn't be a problem and she's glad I'm going to be getting some family time.

+ Other reasons October can't get here soon enough: Netflix will start streaming all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls on the 1st; Cara & I will be watching Mean Girls on the 3rd, which is also the premiere date for Book 4 of Korra; Act 6 of Sailor Moon Crystal premieres on the 4th, which is also my birthday; Act 7 of Sailor Moon Crystal premieres on the 18th, which brings us that much closer to FUCKING FINALLY officially meeting Venus; and it's just a magically magical month in general.
Okay, I'm kind of inclined to see it as a magically magical month because it contains my birthday.
But so what?

+ I'm having butter chicken, aloo gobhi, and garlic naan for dinner. Because I fucking deserve to have butter chicken, aloo gobhi, and garlic naan for dinner, that's why.

- Sailor Moon (the manga) really really really thoroughly really & truly makes me wish I could draw. In which case I could, obviously, "easily" make at least one sixty-issue Magical Girl series, don't you think?

+ Speaking of what a Magical Girl series created by me would look like, that . . . is a thing I have been thinking about a lot lately.

= 30 Rock 4x06 features one-off supporting characters played by Fig from Orange is the New Black and one of the brothers from The Heat.

DISCUSSION: Sailor Moon Crystal Act 5, "Makoto - Sailor Jupiter"
Have y'all seen it yet?! I watched it twice on Saturday, and it is pretty much etched into my brain for at least the next couple of days.

Here are a few of my initial reactions:

So far, if I had to rank every episode from best to worst, it would go
Act 5
Act 3
Act 2
Act 1
Act 4, easy.

Oh my bloody guts, the razor-sharp petals! Oh, I'm dying!
But for real, this franchise is plain crazy sometimes. And I love it.

It's a good thing this episode was so great, because the next one is all about Tuxedo Kamen. And the one after that (which airs on my birthday), I think? We won't officially meet Minako until October 18th.
Waiting is one of my least favorite things.

I might be the smallest somewhat partial because she's my favorite character in the entire franchise, but her transformation scene was the best. Her attacks were also the best.

13 Things I Love (Today)

  1. Grilled cheese,

  2. caffeine,

  3. "Let It Go,"

  4. stand-up,

  5. gelato,

  6. Spicy Scrambled Eggs,

  7. cake,

  8. September 8th,

  9. Animorphs (always & forever + infinity),

  10. Sailor Moon Crystal, which will finally introduce my favorite character in the whole franchise the day after tomorrow,

  11. solitude,

  12. meditation, and

  13. MAGIC.


Where the fuck shall I even fucking begin?

Firstly & foremostly, this was 157,000 times better than The Descendants is going to be.
Although, y'know, I would totally get over my "oh look, Disney wants to do an Ever After High thing" bias if any one of the many idiots at Disney was suddenly struck with the good sense to hire Todrick Hall and his people.

Speaking of Todrick Hall, I've made this observation before, but he might possibly seriously be the love of my life.
He just doesn't know it yet.

On the one hand, it's seriously annoying that "YOLO" is actually used like it's an actual word; on the other half, "Just keep swimming" sort of almost makes up for it?

It took me a few viewings to confirm that the main characters are also playing "good" characters --- specifically, Snow White is also the Evil Queen (which, by the way, would be an interesting twist in the next omg every fairy tale ever! story-franchise-thing).

Dance Moms? Really? Okay, whatevs.

"Sure, you might be a little different. But in your own way, you're wickedly cool."
Well, oh my holy fucking gods, y'all:
There it is. That, right there, is pretty much, oh, the entire reason I fell in love with the Wicked Witch of the West when I was three years old . . . so, uh, that's nifty.

Oh, Mickey's rap. Oh, I'm dying.

Notice that, when Cinderella does the L on her forehead gesture, the L is backward.
In other words, Cinderella is the Karen of the Plastic Princesses.
Speaking of things I never knew I always wanted.

This shit triggered my ASMR in a really fantastic way.

Stuff & Things & Things & Stuff (omg)

One thing I've been pondering kind of a fucking lot whenever I meditate lately is:
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
. . . which just happens to be immediately followed by:
I don't care
What they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
So, yeah, this song is still teaching me things.

I can't remember if I've ever mentioned this on here or not, but I have this recurring dream that mashes up Animorphs & (what a shock) Sailor Moon: Elfangor (who, naturally, is now a girl) gives the kids transformation trinkets that let them morph by saying things like "Wolf Power, Make Up!" and "Elephant Power, Make Up!"
and Marco falls deeply, confusingly in love with Ax, who switches between genders when in human form
and it takes them a while to unlock these powers, but all six of the kids can do elemental magic (Cassie is Earth, Tobias is Air, Marco is Water, Rachel is Fire, Jake is the Magic of Friendship because he's the Prince, and Ax is either Lightning or Cosmic Energy) (by the way, writing this down made me want to match up these six kids and the six Elements of Harmony . . . hmmm)
and Rachel is really good at blowing stuff up with her mind
and the Ellimist is (naturally) also a girl now
and so on & so forth, you get the idea.

All I'm saying is, did anyone else know that this existed?

Monday, September 8th is only two weeks away!

Work has been stressful as fuck lately, for a tornado plethora of depression-related reasons.
I am beyond tired of this nonsense.

PGSM continues to enthrall & inspire. I need to re-watch Act 31, in which Jupiter finally unlocks her full potential as a Senshi, because I was too sleepy to pay attention last time. Heh.

Here's some Science for you to mull over:
So that's why I just roll my eyes and move on when people try to act like weed isn't an effective way to deal with depression.

Some of my favorite Disney songs of the moment include "Colors of the Wind" (the real one), "Poor Unfortunate Souls," "I'll Make a Man Out of You," "Can You Feel the Love Tonight," "Reflection," "Part of Your World," and (obviously) "Let It Go."

I really don't feel like writing this letter right now. I know I should, though. I hope I feel like writing it soon.

The True Blood finale was, unintentionally, one of the most hilarious hours of television I have ever seen in my entire life ever.
Seriously, melodrama hasn't made me laugh so hard since I started watching SCANDAL.

. . . But, um, do you know who else has a pet alligator?

Sailor Moon Buffy
Yeppers, it happened:Collapse )

Sailor Moon Witch
If you go to and search for "sailor moon witch," these are some of the things you find:

Oh my gush, YESCollapse )

Well, that was fun!

Random (Weird) Thoughts About Sailor Moon
Volume 12 of the manga is waiting for me at the library. It will continue waiting until Monday (along with Laurie Halse Anderson's new book, by the way), as that is the next time they will actually be open when I am not at work. I've never really read all of the first eleven volumes, but what the hell.

One thing that always amuses me in any version of the story is how long it takes anyone to realize that Usagi is the real princess. I mean, obviously the characters don't realize that the franchise is named after her, but they also don't seem to realize that

  • she is the only Senshi who is not named after a planet,

  • but named after the Moon,

  • which is also where the princess they're all looking for was from;

  • or her powers are a lot stronger than anyone else's;

  • or the team starts assembling shortly after Luna finds her, even though a year has passed since Artemis found Minako.

But everyone is, you know, completely shocked when Venus confesses that she's been acting as a decoy for the real princess, who is Little Miss Punisher Bunny herself.

PGSM has given me two pleasant epiphanies:

  • Usagi is a total Pinkie Pie - hyperactive, never meets a stranger, friend to absolutely everyone she meets (unless you are a monster, in which case you are going to get dead), kind of a big deal when she's not happy, more powerful than any of her friends realize, obsessed with food in general and candy in particular, clumsy fuck, can burst into song with nary a warning, et cetera ad nauseam.

  • Sailor Moon is rather a witchy character - magical powers that come from the moon, lives with a cat . . . who can talk, powers are linked to her wardrobe in general and her jewelry in particular, magic comes out of nowhere to save the day because she is determined, fights monsters . . . many of whom attack at night, healing abilities, makes magic happen by saying a bunch of words that don't mean anything until she says them together, has power over the dead, et cetera ad nauseam.

So that was fun.
No wonder I like her so much.

Between the Moon Cat and the Pony Princess and the Loony Girl Wizard, it occurs to me that Luna is one of my favorite names. Ever.

If you ever wanted to play a PGSM drinking game (that will kill you of alcohol poisoning), you could take a shot every time any of the Senshi puts on a new outfit.
Transformations don't even count, and this game will still kill you of alcohol poisoning.
My point is, I like how these girls are "girly" enough to do things like play Magical Dress-Up, yet still "badass" enough to . . . well, to be as popular as they have been since the early Nineties, for example.
And I'm tired of explaining that "girly" and "badass" do and should totally go together, duh.

I kind of feel like I need this.

Crystal will finally introduce Jupiter on September 6th, and I'll be completely honest: I'm basically white-knuckling it until then.

5 Reasons Marvel Should Make A Runaways Movie (Or Four)
1. From the very beginning, the team consists of four girls & two boys; though the line-up goes through several changes, the chicks always outnumber the dudes.
I think we can all agree that the current MCU is in dire need of some more female heroes, yes?

2. From the very beginning, the team includes two characters who are not white - and gains even more as the story progresses.
I think we can all agree that the current MCU is in dire need of some more characters who are not white, yes?

3. From the very beginning, the team includes a lesbian (who slowly comes out over the first story arc*, but observant readers will pick up on some subtle foreshadowing right away, and some not-subtle-at-all foreshadowing shortly after that). She eventually meets a boy who turns into a girl to be with her.
I think we can all agree that the current MCU is in dire need of some (more?) LGBTQA characters, yes?

4. From the very beginning (of the second series), the team leader is an Asian girl.
I think we can all agree that the current MCU is in dire need of . . . any . . . Asian characters, yes? (Obviously, this ties in with my second point. But it's worth mentioning again because, personally, I feel that Asian characters people are super under-represented in Western media. Feel free to disagree, but seriously, come on.)
And wouldn't it be great if "team leader who is not a white guy" characters stopped being interesting merely for their rarity in my lifetime?

5. From the very beginning, the team includes a velociraptor from the 87th century.
I think we can all agree that the current MCU is in dire need of MOTHERFUCKING DINOSAURS, yes?

*You know, actually, this story has so many arcs that it might be even better suited as a series on Netflix.

Things That Are Awesome
Pony Techno, such as this:

I know, right?

The wait for new episodes of Crystal was just too hard, so I finally started watching this batshit crazy awesome live-action show to help pass the time. I'm on Act 19, and it is getting so good.
Unfortunately, I already know enough about this show that all the really big holy-gasp-how-shocking moments have effectively been spoilered for me. Fortunately, this version of the story thrives on drama, so it's basically a soap opera about five fourteen-year-old girls who use elemental magic to fight monsters while slowly becoming better friends with each other . . . or, you know, one of the greatest things that ever
has happened in the history of television.

I'm currently planning two very special ones (neither of which will look anything like the one in the picture, but sometimes it's just fun to go to Google Images and look for things, gosh) to be baked on Sunday, September 7th and Monday, September 8th.

This list was supposed to be longer, but oh well. Maybe I'll add more to it later.

Oh My Senshi
Some bitch on the Internet (specifically, here) has already assembled them all:

It just kills me that I only have Moon, Mercury, and Mars. Jupiter will be my birthday present to myself. I'm trying not to spend any unnecessary money right now, in order to save lots for Cara's visit, buuuuuut I could theoretically order Venus today.

7 Things I Wish I Was (Re) Reading Right Now
1. Born Confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier
Oh my bloody guts, this is only one of the greatest books I have ever read. Seriously. It's hilarious, it's dramatic (and dramatical), it's full of witty wordplay, it's full of such vivid imagery that even the laziest reader in the world would be able to picture every detail so clearly they're basically watching a movie in their minds, and the protagonist just happens to be a photographer whose family doesn't understand her.
It's positively littered (hee, positive litter) with quotable passages, one of which is: "Black was only a few steps from white, negative to photo. A song was only a notch off silence. A black hole was an inside-out star. Suitability -- two letters away from unsuitability. End a mere three letters from friend."

2. Sunshine by Robin McKinley
With zero exaggeration, I can assure you that, if Harriet the Spy had never been written, this would be my favorite book of all time. Seriously.
Basically, Robin McKinley (please drop everything and read the book that put her on the map, Beauty: A Retelling of the Story of Beauty and the Beast, unless you absolutely hate this fairy tale - you monster - because this is really just a novel-length retelling written by someone who casually claims it as her favorite fairy tale of all time) wrote a book about a baker who gets kidnapped by vampires. Saying any more than that would inevitably be somewhat spoileriffic, re: what makes the story so great, but I will tell you that it gave me this weapon mantra: "It is the strength of the element in you that makes you more able to resist - and simultaneously embrace - its opposite. You are not consumed by the darkness because you are full of light."
So, yeah, this book is kind of a big damn deal.

3. The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot
Despite (or because of) being set in New York City instead of San Francisco, this book is 157,000 times better than the movie. And that is saying something, because it would be one of my favorite live-action Disney movies ever even if it hadn't given us all the gift of Anne Hathaway. Which it did.
Anyway. How is it funnier than the movie? Let's see . . . Grandmere is a conniving bitch (think Emily Gilmore, but European fucking royalty and not a witch) who considers it "vulgar" to converse in English; Mia's dad is very much alive, and only tells her she's a princess after learning she is definitely his only heir, as he has just had a cancerous testicle removed, which grosses her out to no end, by the way; the Drs. Moscovitz (parents of Michael & Lilly), WHO DID NOT EVEN APPEAR IN THE MOVIE; Mia will not shut up about the hotness that is Michael's body; Mia's mom (who, by the way, is an insanely successful artist who can afford to live in a quite spacious loft even though she regularly does things like, for example, throw away bills if Mia doesn't remind her to pay them first) starts dating her Algebra teacher, and Algebra is Mia's very worst subject, which might just make her flunk the first semester of ninth grade . . . need I go on?

4. Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson
How do I even begin to describe this book, y'all? Well, let's focus on the main character for like one second: Lia is an anorexic girl (with a history of cutting) whose best friend, Cassie, has recently committed suicide. They hadn't spoken in months, but Cassie called her thirty-something times that night and reminded her of a bet they had made when they were younger to see who could be the skinniest girl in the whole school. In her words, Lia won.
Obviously, it's some heavily depressing shit. I probably wouldn't have given it a second glance if it wasn't written by Laurie Halse Anderson, so I'm glad she did.

Contains several scenes of chilling imagery, such as:

"We held hands when we walked down the gingerbread path into the forest, blood dripping from our fingers. We danced with witches and kissed monsters. We turned us into wintergirls, and when she tried to leave, I pulled  her back into the snow because I was afraid to be alone."

"I could.
If I really want to die, right now, this minute, in this empty place, I could stab myself in a vein; they're easy enough to see. I could walk into the blizzard and lie down in the snow and bleed out. Hypothermia and blood loss is like going to sleep, like pricking my finger on a thorn or a spindle.
I could."

"The light beyond my eyes flashflashflashes with a hundred futures for me. Doctor. Ship's captain. Forest ranger. Librarian. Beloved of that man or that woman or those children or those people who voted for me or who painted my picture. Poet. Arobat. Engineer. Friend. Guardian. Avenging whirlwind. A million futures -- not all pretty, not all long, but all of them mine.
'You lied!' I say. 'I do have a choice.'"

"The nasty voices are always on call, eager to pull me back down


but I do not let them."

"When you're alive, people can hurt you. It's easier to crawl into a bone cage or a snowdrift of confusion. It's easier to lock everybody out.
But it's a lie."

"Her hug makes me strong enough to carry the entire world on my shoulders. She wants me to come home soon. I'm almost ready."

"I spin and weave and knit my words and visions until a life starts to take shape.
There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore.

I am thawing."

5. Catalyst by Laurie Halse Anderson
Yes, this bitch again. Deal.
Laurie Halse Anderson is a writer who refuses to limit herself to one genre --- her books range from historical fiction to picture books to an American Girl series set in an animal clinic, seriously --- but most of her (excellent) YA fiction tends to be about horrifying and/or painful and/or just awkward circumstances that people don't like to talk about because that would be uncomfortable, and this is no exception. It's about a high school senior, a brilliant student who particularly excels in Chemistry, who applies to MIT because it is her dream school. Unfortunately, she doesn't apply anywhere else. Which turns into something of a problem, because she waits and waits and waits and waits and waits some more . . . for what turns out to be a thin letter.
And I haven't even alluded to the tragedy that comes out of nowhere and changes the whole story.

6. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling
Because she's straight-up crazy (and funny and, occasionally on purpose, smart), and I love that about her. Seriously, I love her so much that I want her to become my new BFF sometime in my mid-thirties.

7. A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett
Well, obviously I am going to love it when Terry fucking Pratchett writes a book about a girl growing up to be the most powerful witch alive (after the current one dies). This is technically the second in a series of four books about Tiffany, but it's definitely maybe my favorite because it contains this wisdom nugget:
"Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It's a feeling inside that can hardly be contained."

Sometimes Dance is The Answer

Ryan Reacts To . . . Sailor Moon Crystal Episode 3, "REI - SAILOR MARS"
The opening scene with Beryl and Jadeite and the other one, whose name escapes me at the moment, made me have the following epiphany, transcribed from (ugh) Facebook:


Guardians of the Galaxy actually has two pretty crucial plot points in common with Sailor Moon (and, um, Friendship is Magic):

1. Everybody wants to get their hands on some immensely powerful, powerfully colorful stones.

2. In the end, the day is saved by the Magic of Friendship.


After that, before Rei's face is ever actually shown on camera, we can tell that she's using fire to see the future, so we can immediately tell that, even among a cast full of characters who are completely awesome, this particular character is going to be particularly awesome.
I mean, obviously.
DO READ ONCollapse )


Well, that was fun.

And Also
I just did Earth Magic by myself and had a seriously intense, intensely serious epiphany about why one of Depression's favorite tricks is so effective on me, over and over and over for always.

(And why this particular trick made me so inclined to seek out Girls Who Kick Ass anywhere I could find them, many of whom were, specifically, witches.)

'Tis a quiet fury, but I. am. so. pissed.

"Applejack, Who Reassured Me When I Was In Doubt"
. . . Says that, she's sorry to say it, but that thing I've been ponderin' the fuck out of every time I've meditated for the last few weeks is not the wrong thing to do. It's not selfish or spiteful or any more nasty than it absolutely has to be; it is honest, and it is truthful, and it is another synonym for "honest," and I can keep meditating about it for another month, but eventually I am gonna have to write the letter and send it and let it go and move on.

And I asked Applejack for advice because, duh, she is the Element of Honesty, so y'all know it ain't no lie.

Generosity + Kindness = Earth Magic
So . . . today I intentionally made a new friend. He shared some earth magic, then gave me some more to take home. We have plans to see Guardians of the Galaxy together later this week. I am beyond glad we met.

Here We Go Again

Depression REALLY REALLY REALLY FUCKING SUCKS because, no matter how many times I kick its ass, it always inevitably comes back, and sometimes (I'm about to get a little bit metaphorical on you) my shields are so strong that it can't really do anything, because a) I am "not consumed by the darkness because I am full of light," b) I have learned how to defy gravity, c) "It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small," d) "The Magic contained in my Element was able to unite with those who helped create it," and e) is for "et cetera."

But sometimes it slips through and hits me when I'm the opposite of prepared, and I get knocked down. And then - oh, and then - even though I know I'm more than capable of kicking its ass yet again, it still ~feels~ like this, finally, at long last, is the time I'm going to lose.

This is one of those times. I ~feel~ beyond defeated. I ~feel~ like pretty much everyone on the planet hates me. I ~feel~ like I've already done this so many times that, this time, I just can't.

Pinkie Pie says I can, though.

She's so annoying.*

P.S. Seriously, I'm okay. There's a very specific reason Depression has been so tough lately, which is so far a secret from almost everyone, and I know what to do about it and I'm going to do it, but it's still - well - depressing, and then (of course) I've had an intensely difficult couple of days, so . . . yep. I'm okay. It sucks, and I'm BEYOND tired of it, but I'm okay.

*Everything else is one thousand percent serious, but this one line is sarcastic. Duh.

So I Saw Lucy
I . . . didn't love it.

I mean, I didn't hate it, but it wasn't quite the "Hey, Scarlett Johansson made a movie about another Girl Who Kicks Ass to give herself something to do until Marvel FINALLY officially announces Black Widow" story I was hoping for. There's plenty of action in it (most of which you've already seen in trailers), of course, but . . . well, let's just say the first fifteen or twenty minutes made me think I was really going to love this movie, and what happened after that was not what I expected. The actual movie's overall mission statement (if you will) is less "Heck Yeah, Girls Who Kick Ass!" and more "Yay, SCIENCE!" Which isn't a bad thing, of course, but I was hoping to care about the characters a little bit more.

This isn't going to be a full-fledged review (although, if that's what you'd like to read, Hypable actually has a really good one right here), but we could have a fun little discussion, if anyone else has seen it?

Anyway. Also. There was a trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey, and ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT PEOPLE SERIOUSLY PAY MONEY FOR THIS NONSENSE WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL . . . not that I was surprised, but it's still funny to see something so ridiculous take itself so seriously. And her involvement kiiiiind of made me lose a tiny bit of respect for Beyonce.

Stuff & Things
I delayed my gratification for more than a month, but on Wednesday (the day before yesterday) I caved and watched the first episode of Orange is the New Black season two. Obviously, I got hooked like a junkie on smack, so last night I watched the last three episodes (which is to say, now I am all caught up and already impatient for season three, do you follow me), and the finale completely blew my mind. Well fucking done, Jenji Kohan. Shut up and take a bow, you goddess in disguise. But seriously, you are as flawless as Regina George, and Rarity agrees with me on this one so you know it's truth.

Which one would be more fun for you to read: Ryan Reacts to . . . Friendship is Magic or Ryan Reacts to . . . The Vampire Diaries? Although, technically, there's no real reason I absolutely couldn't write them both concurrentlywise. Hmmm. Put a pin in that for now.

Honestly, quite a lot of hilarious stuff has been happening to me lately, but I have zero energy to write about it. Because I am exhausted absolutely all the time. Because Depression has been sucking that much.

Lucy is now in theaters! And then Guardians of the Galaxy in a week!

Oh, oh! If Vee from OINTB seems vaguely familiar to you, it's probably because she used to be Claire's cellmate on Ugly Betty.

I'm honestly tempted to order a pizza.

Geeks Who Kick Ass By, Well, Being Geeks
1. Sailor Mercury
One of my favorite things about the second episode of Sailor Moon Crystal (which you should be watching) is that, even before anypony begins to start to suspect that she might be Sailor Mercury, the Villain of the Week (who is sucking the life out of teenagers with evil computer programs because, hey, this is Sailor Moon) honestly thinks she can use Ami's intelligence to TAKE OVER TOKYO, AND THEN ALL OF JAPAN.

2. Willow Rosenberg
first episode: geek
last episode: goddess

3. Elphaba Thropp
"Well, where are your wings? Maybe you're not as powerful as you think you are."

It does get overshadowed by that whole "wickedest witch there ever was" aspect she can't get rid of, but the girl is also a top student. Also, I tend to think of magic in general, and witchcraft in particular, as an obvious metaphor for knowing things other people don't know, so any solitary witch who can teach herself to do things like, for example, defy gravity, must be inherently geeky.

4. Tiffany Aching
Her favorite word is "susurrus." She makes up the word "noonlight." She reads the dictionary from start to finish because no one tells her she shouldn't.

Naturally, she's growing up to be the most powerful witch alive (meaning she'll eventually take over for Granny Weatherwax, just as Granny Weatherwax took over for Black Aliss . . . "most powerful witch alive" is a story that gets told over and over, isn't it).

5. Twilight Sparkle
Full-time student (who, technically, continues to be a full-time student after becoming a Princess). Lives in a library. Studies so much that she needs two assistants. Loses. her. shit. when she thinks her homework might possibly be late. "Is there a book about being a Princess that I should read?" and so on. So, yeah, she's a total geek.

As for kicking ass, I only have three words: Element of Magic.

6. Lane Kim
Her encyclopedic knowledge of rock music, and all other types of music, is pretty damn geeky. Also, she has the organizational skills (not to mention: natural acting ability) required to keep her encyclopedic knowledge of rock music a secret from her mother for thirteen years, even though her mother is, uh, somewhat suspicious by nature.

7. Professor Minerva McGonagall
You don't become Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry without being kind of a geek.

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